How do I get my best friend back, I miss her so much???

Last October I came away to uni for the first time, and living on my staircase three doors along was a girl. Now at first we got on quite well but moved in different social circles, I mean most of my socialising was done in the bar whereas she did her own things. The only time I really saw her was in the kitchen where we would chat.

Anyway, over the weeks we grew closer, and our social activities became far more involved with each other and I started going to her room and things and we became good friends. Then one night, we and some other people who we were friends with went out clubbing, and me and her for the first time actually made contact, like hugging and putting my arm round her and stuff, infact people started asking me if there was something going on. This is when I realised that I actually liked her as more than a friend but never really got the same impression back, I mean she had similar touchy-feely relationships with a couple of other guys. But over the next couple weeks after that night, we became really close, and regularly hugged and stuff, and I started wanting her more and more.

Then one night I got really drunk and had to be taken to my room by my group of friends, including her. And because I had strong feelings for her and I was so drunk, I overstepped the boundary and started touching her inappropriately and trying to kiss her and stuff.

Anyway that happened a week before the end of term and for that week she became much more distant, and sort of avoided me a bit. I mean not completely because we lived so close, but I got the impression that if it wasn’t for me going to see her, then she would have been completely avoiding me. All the touching stopped and she blanked me a couple of times when we were with other people. At this point I still wasn’t sure what had happened that night and although I noticed this change in her behaviour I wasn’t sure if it was for that reason. So a couple of days later, I confronted her about it, and she confirmed what I thought had happened, and told me that we were still friends but that she needed some space. She said that it wasn’t me she was annoyed with but she had a personal issue she had to get over (whatever that means) and that she had a personal bubble that didn’t like people entering, like getting too close, and that all the stuff we did before felt awkward now. But with the holidays coming up she said that everything would probably be back to normal next term.

Anyway we’ve come back and things are still very much how they were maybe a bit better, I hugged her once on the first day but that’s it, and I can tell she hasn’t got over the whole experience. Like I get the impression she doesn’t like being alone with me and that if I stopped making an effort to be her friend, then our friendship would fizzle out.

I mean we’re still quite friendly and we still socialise and talk but I can tell our friendship’s not what it was. What I want to know is, what exactly is going on in her head? What should I do, nothing and let time decide, or talk to her and risk making things more awkward? What do you think will happen with this friendship, is it doomed to failure or is there hope yet? I know my judgement is clouded because I am still very much into her and it hurts a bit. Please help.

Adren's picture

In her head you did all the wrong things.. and because you did them when you were drunk you were overly aggressive which also shows that you can't handle your drinking.. big turn off for girls.. also you were her friend only and you messed that up.. if you had wanted to be with her you should have waited it out and told her and shown her subtley.. at this point all you can do is give it time and hope that you can remain friends.. at the same time you've ruined the friendship.. she won't trust you anymore.. if you persist you will become annoying and push her away even further.. there may be hope for a future frienship but probably not.. is that really what you want, just friends.. could you live with that.. it'll be torture and you're better off letting it go.. it'll take a lot of patience and time to regain her friendship but there's no hope of her being into you.. if there was you ruined it.. she sounds like the kind of girl who has a lot of guy friends she is really close to but doesn't date a lot.. which means she chooses and makes the move, not the guys.. sorry, lesson learned.

Please someone, I need help!