My wife is in love with a man shes never met through the internet.

I need help and quickly. Please!

My wife of 19 yrs and I play a massive multi-player online roleplaying game. We've played for 2 years. We sit in different rooms in the house and hang out with different people in the online game world as our playing styles are very different (she likes to joke around; socalize, I'm more serious). One of her online friends (known to me and whom I liked as he was similiar to me) and her have grown closer to the point of saying they love each other. My wife has traded a few pics with this man who is in a struggling marriage of his own. He has 2 kids, we have 4.
My marriage has been going through tough times with her deteriorating morale in running her own business, our bankruptsy and her feelings of me not pullng my weight around the house. I was fired from my job a few years back for misconduct and since then times have been really rough. We both use the game as a way to escape into a fun world and forget our problems for a few hours.

She had this past summer, decided to start living for herself, putting her needs to the top and so many years of really putting everyone elses needs first. Her and this online guy have talked most nights through the game for the past 4 mos, and now she has just told me shes in love with this guy (2 states away) and he loves her. Her heart and head are conflicted and shes wavering, thinking perhaps this man came into her life to start the next 20 years of renewed happiness (She constantly says he understands her and says exactly what she needs to hear). She and him have cybered (typed sex to one another through the game chat) and written fantasy stories to one another having sex. Shes talked of writing a novel with him. All of this has been known to me but I though it was just for fun, not for real emotions being shared.

With the stress in her head they talked on the phone for the first time last night and he stated he will not be a homewrecker but does plan to leave his wife and only after that should they meet. (Hes been miserable for many mos.) My wife had installed skype, much to my dread which allowed them to see one another as they talked. I have removed it today from the computer which he and I agreed was best. All of us are in pain. I want my wife back. I plan to get her best friend involved hoping for some sanity and understanding.

As it standsnow , the guy in the game will do whatever wy wife wants from him. He wants her but of course has to reveal this to his wife (his wife and he have not had sex in 9 mos.) and get through leaving her.
My wife is torn, ripped in half, feeling trapped in our 19 yr marriage with all our problems. She has noticed me trying more. (why not? Too little too late?) During the last 4 mos our sex life had increased by 40% which I now feel was prompted by thoughts of him. It has now stopped for 10 days now. She doesnt want to be intimate with me. Partly for not wanting to think of him while with me? She has never been an affectionate one, but now has pulled away not wanting my affections which is killing me. Shes thinking seperation, feeling the need to explore this attractive option (I have much family in the area while hers is in the state between us and the online friend). The holidays are coming. My question to you in this dire situation is what can I do to save my marriage?

We still play this game nightly, although it just pains me to know while im adventuring solo they are together (this is just how its been). I expect them to group up and talk while I'm in the other room wondering. I feel like I could suggest alternatives to the game but she will think I am delibertly trying to put a wedge between them which is denying her a chance at possible greater happiness. She feels she needs to explore that option which leaves me in an affectionateless marriage living day to day. Do I continue to act like nothings wrong and let her go her own way? Do i try and persuade her back? Involve other family members? Do I contact the guy pissed off and hurt like I am? I want to cool this infatuation. I don't want her pining away. Shes as upset as well that this happened, to genuinely have such strong feelings for this man. I can see this going for many months without resolution. I do hope the fireworks between them cool off.

What can I do??